


Faking It

by StarBurnedOut



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Everybody is a little stupid, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friendship, Romance, but in a good way
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:41:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28748637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarBurnedOut/pseuds/StarBurnedOut
Summary: Fed up with Lydia's constant attempts to set them up with other people, Scott and Malia decide the best way to make her stop is to convince her they're already dating each other. Post-5B.
Relationships: Scott McCall/Malia Tate
Comments: 12
Kudos: 23





	1. 01

**Author's Note:**

> A fake dating fic. It's a trope I enjoy reading, and one I've been considering writing for a long time. Something fun is what I need to be working on right now, so it seemed like the perfect time to give it a shot. Expect this to be extremely self-indulgent and incredibly dumb. Suspension of disbelief is going to be your friend here. Enjoy!

**01**

Scott was trying as hard as he could to seem engaged, interested, but he was sure he was fighting a losing battle. He could see his own reflection in the glasses of the chattering girl across from him, could see the slightly glazed over look in his own eyes as he nodded robotically, a dull ache in his cheeks from the forced smile he was holding.

It wasn't her fault he was checked out mentally, that he had been from the moment Lydia called him over, a smirk on her face, and introduced them to each other. From what he could tell, she honestly seemed like a nice person. Her name was Sarah, a blonde girl he vaguely remembered saying hello to a few times in the one class they’d shared last semester. She was cute and bubbly and seemed bright, from the few bits of the conversation that hadn't just gone in one of his ears and out the other.

He just wasn't interested.

If he'd come to the party tonight looking to meet somebody, maybe then he would have been more invested, tried a little harder. But he hadn't. He hadn't wanted to come at all. It had taken Lydia a solid week of constant badgering before he'd agreed to show up, and only then because she’d convinced him it would be fun, a chance to take a break from all the studying, the work he’d thrown himself into in recent months. The last week had been particularly taxing, and she’d seemed so sincere, so he'd given in, told her he'd be there, had even managed to start looking forward to it a bit.

And it had all been a set-up.

"She really likes you. Just relax and have some fun," she'd whispered before walking away, smugly satisfied and entirely too proud of herself.

It was a nice idea. Unfortunately, he wasn't having fun, and it was hard to relax when he would rather be anywhere else at the moment. The music was too loud, it was too warm, there were too many people around. He felt trapped. If Sarah hadn't been so obviously excited to be talking to him, he would have already just tossed out some excuse and made his escape. But she didn’t know what was going on with him, and he didn't want to hurt her feelings, so he stood there, suffered in silence, false smile in place, internally counting the minutes, the seconds until he could find a way to politely take his leave.

As out of it as he was, Scott still managed to clue in when she suddenly went silent. Giving himself a mental shake, he focused on her face, saw the expectant look there, and realised she was waiting for a response. For a brief second, he wracked his brain, trying desperately to recall whatever question she must have asked, and coming up empty.

"Sorry," he said, shooting her an apologetic look and a shrug. "It's kinda loud in here. I missed that."

She waved her hand dismissively, still smiling. "It's okay. I just—did you want to get something to drink?" Even the dim lighting in the room couldn't hide her slight flush then, as she looked up at him from under her eyelashes and quietly offered, "Or maybe dance or something?"

For a second, he hesitated, frozen still, unsure of how exactly to respond. It wasn't like he was opposed to dancing. He actually enjoyed it from time to time. But in that moment, he couldn’t think of anything he was less interested in. And it wasn’t her fault. He’d known even as he walked into the house it wasn’t going to be a good night. Even before Lydia had sprung this on him, whatever earlier enthusiasm he’d managed to work up had deserted him as he climbed out of Stiles’ jeep. The dread began creeping in as he’d started up the driveway. Now, an hour in, all he wanted to do was get out, away from the crowd, away from this interaction, just away.

“Oh, uh, I, uh...” He trailed off as her smile started to slip and cleared his throat, unconsciously shifting his weight from foot to foot. “Yeah, I guess we could get a drink.” He glanced over to the far side of the room, at the short hallway that led to the kitchen. “You want me to go grab something?”

“Yeah! That’d be cool. I’ll wait right here.”

Already backing away, he flashed her a thumbs-up, then turned and headed for the kitchen, trying not to break into a jog. A part of him felt bad for being so obvious, for running away, but not bad enough to actually stop.

As soon as the kitchen door swung shut behind him, he leaned back against the wall and let out a heavy sigh. It was a little quieter, a little cooler in there, away from the rest of the party. A decent place to take a break, take a breath, take a minute to gather himself before he went back out and potentially ruined Sarah’s night.

He should have known this was going to happen. It was far from the first time Lydia had tried to set him up with somebody. She’d been at it for months, and especially lately, trying to hook him up with what felt like every girl she knew. Apparently, she’d decided he’d been single long enough, and it was time to get back in the game, despite his objections. It didn’t seem to matter how many times he told her he wasn’t interested, that he was perfectly happy being single, that he’d find somebody in his own time, on his own terms. She was convinced he was still hung up on Kira, and was determined to help him fix that problem. The fact that her help was neither wanted nor needed just did not seem to factor in.

It might have helped if he’d told her he already was sort of interested in somebody. She might have backed off if she knew how he felt, not hung up on the past, but with his mind on someone else entirely. But he couldn’t bring it up, because she’d ask who it was, and if he wanted her to believe him, he’d have to tell her the truth. He wasn’t ready for that, so he kept his mouth shut instead, and suffered through.

She’d really ramped up her efforts over the last week or so. Two separate attempts to trick him into showing up for a blind date had resulted in what had to have been the most boring night of his life. He’d sat her down after that one, told her she needed to stop, explained yet again that while he appreciated the effort, it was time for her to give up. He’d done everything he could—almost everything—to make her understand his position, and he thought he’d been successful.

Apparently not.

Wandering over to the fridge, he grabbed a bottle of soda out and pulled off the top. As he took a drink, he found himself eyeing the window over the sink, and had to give his head a shake when he abruptly realised he was subconsciously sizing it up, feeling out a potential escape route.

“Jesus,” he muttered to himself, running his fingers through his hair as he leaned back against the counter. “Get it together, man.”

There was no need for any kind of window-jumping. Things weren’t that bad. Awkward and uncomfortable maybe, and likely to get a little more so when he told Sarah he just wasn’t interested in her, but nothing he couldn’t handle. And once he got past that, he could leave. Or maybe try to salvage the night, find Stiles or Liam and chill with them for a little while. He’d seen a few teammates on the way in too, newer members who probably wouldn’t mind hanging out with the captain for a bit. He had options.

Or he could just stay in the kitchen and hope nobody came looking for him.

Just as that thought was passing through his head, the door abruptly swung open, and he felt his heart sink. Fortunately, before he could hurl himself through the window, Malia stepped inside. She paused when she saw him standing there, arched an eyebrow, as he blew out a relieved breath.

“Hey.”

Raising a hand in greeting, he flashed her a small smile. “Hey. You come to hide out in here too?”

Her lips twitched at that, and she shook her head as she made her way over to him. “No, not hiding. Just thirsty.” Reclining back against the counter next to him, she held out her hand and motioned to his soda, which he handed over. “So, that’s what you’re doing then?” she asked, after taking a drink. “Hiding?”

“Eh.” He rocked his head from side to side. “Sort of, yeah.”

“From that blonde you were talking to?”

The amusement was dripping from her voice, had him grimacing, face screwing up as he shut his eyes tight and shook his head. Of course she’d seen him with Sarah, made that connection. Of course. Things didn’t improve when he finally looked at her, saw the laughter she was fighting to keep back, the corners of her lips curling up behind the mouth of the bottle.

“You, uh… you saw that, huh?”

She shrugged, passed the bottle back to him. “I saw you looking about ready to jump through the closest window.”

He snorted. “You’re not far off. I just…” He trailed off, took a drink, then held up the bottle, eyebrow raised in question. As she took it back from him, he breathed out a weary sigh and buried his face in his hands. “I should have known, y’know? I should have known why she wanted me here. Stupid. Stupid on my part.”

“Lydia tried to set you up again, huh?”

“Uh-huh.” Dropping his hands, he looked at her, a wry smile on his face. There was some sympathy in her expression now, mixed in with the amusement, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out why. He wasn’t the only one who’d been on the receiving end of Lydia’s unsolicited dating help recently, wasn’t the only one fed up with it. “How about you? She have some guy waiting for you when you got here?”

She shook her head, a smirk twisting her lips. “Not this time. I told her I wasn’t coming, said I had shit to do with my dad, and she bought it. She was _pissed_ when she saw me tonight.”

“I bet. You know you should have told me, right? We could have said we were studying together or something, bailed us both out.” She waved his words away, looking entirely unrepentant, and he snorted. “Gee, thanks. It’s just—it’s been so much worse lately. Like, out of control. Did you hear what she did Wednesday night?” Amusement was dancing in her eyes, but she made no indication either way. “She called and said her car broke down, asked me to go pick her up. I get there, and she’s waiting outside with some girl. It was a blind date. She knew I wouldn’t show up if she told me the truth, so she just straight-up lied to get me there.”

“And what did you do?” The laughter was back, barely restrained in her voice, and he knew she had heard after all. “You actually stayed. Pretty sure that one’s on you.”

Dropping his face in his hands again, he groaned. “Of course I stayed. What else could I do? This girl’s standing there, all dressed up, and she clearly doesn’t know I’ve been tricked. I’m not an asshole, y’know? Same thing tonight. I couldn’t just walk away. Even though I _really_ wanted to. I—” He groaned again. “I know her heart’s in the right place, but God, I just wish she’d stop.”

Malia’s only response was to laugh as she nudged him playfully with her elbow, and after a minute, he couldn’t help but join in. As trying as it always felt in the moment, every time he dodged another set-up, the fact that this was currently the biggest problem in his life was more than a little funny. All things considered, he’d much rather deal with this than have somebody else trying to kill him, or be facing off against some other monster he’d never even heard of. Which didn’t make it any less frustrating or annoying, but did help lend a little perspective.

“I’m starting to think there’s only one way to make this end,” he said once their laughter faded away.

“Yeah. Murder-suicide.”

His lips twitched. “Two ways,” he amended. “No, I’m gonna have to tell her I’m dating somebody. Think she’d buy a fake girlfriend, somebody she’s never met?” He was almost entirely joking, would never admit he’d actually given the idea a second of thought after Wednesday’s disaster. Discarded an instant later, he was still embarrassed it had crossed his mind in any kind of serious way at all. Still, it was fun to joke. “Maybe somebody from Canada or Brazil or something like that?”

“Yeah, sure,” she drawled, and he was impressed at just how straight of a face she was able to keep. “Maybe she could be a super model too. Just to give it that little extra hint of reality, y’know?”

“Good idea. Any more notes?”

“No, that’s it.”

They lapsed into silence then, after sharing a grin, and Scott couldn’t help but meditate on how fun, how easy it was to laugh and joke and be around her. Which wasn’t anything new to him. They’d been hanging out a lot over the last few months, in the wake of everything with the Beast, the Dread Doctors, her mother. They were close now, closer than they’d ever been, having fallen into an easy pattern of friendship, and he wasn’t sure exactly when it had happened, but somehow, she’d become the person he talked to most, the one he thought of first when he had something to say, a story to share. And lately, he’d been thinking there might be more there, between them. Something that made him equal parts excited and nervous every time he allowed himself to wonder.

That was his secret, why he couldn’t tell Lydia the real reason her efforts were in vain. He had a crush on Malia, one he wasn’t ready to act on, one way or the other. He wasn’t sure where it was going, if it was going anywhere at all, but it was there, it was strong, and it was more than enough to keep him uninterested in looking anywhere else.

“So,” she said, after a moment, drawing him from his thoughts, “what’s the plan for dealing with your new friend?” 

The reminder that he couldn’t just stay there in the kitchen with her for the rest of the night, that there was somebody out there waiting for him hit him like a slap in the face. Grimacing, he looked at the door, pictured himself going through it, venturing back out into the party, finding Sarah, and felt his stomach clench. It would be so much easier to not do that, to just disappear instead, sneak out a back door when nobody was looking. But he couldn’t do that. It would be the cowardly choice. It wouldn’t be right.

And maybe if he told himself that one or two or a dozen more times, it might make it less appealing.

“I guess I’ll, uh…” He gestured toward the door, trying to ignore how obviously amusing she found his situation to be. “I’ll just… go talk to her. I’ll tell her the truth. I’ll tell her—” His words ended in a massive sigh, a sheepish smile spreading across his face. “I’ll probably lie. Tell her there’s a family emergency or something, and just go home.” She was shaking her head, and all he could do was shrug. “What? I don’t want to hurt her feelings or anything. Lying is the best option. It sucks, but it’s the best option.”

“If you say so.” Draining what was left of the soda, she set the bottle down on the counter, then jerked her head in the direction of the door. “All right, enough of this. Go get it over with and I’ll give you a ride home.”

“You’re not staying?” he asked as he reluctantly stepped away from the counter.

“Nah. This whole party seems kinda lame. And once you’re gone, it’ll be even more boring.” She flashed him a grin over her shoulder, showing more teeth than was necessary. “I mean, who am I gonna laugh at? There’s no way there’s anybody more entertaining than you here tonight.”

“I’m so glad you find my misery funny,” he said, voice dry. “I’m _legitimately_ struggling with this.”

She snorted, playfully bumped her elbow back into his chest. “Oh, lighten up. It’s not that bad.” She looked back at him, at the pained expression he was trying valiantly to maintain as he fought the urge to grin in the face of her teasing, and rolled her eyes. “Go ditch your girlfriend and I’ll buy you a burger. Would that make you feel better?”

“It might,” he allowed, trying not to show just how much he liked the sound of that.

“All right then,” she said, reaching for the doorknob and opening the door wide. “Get to it.”

As he brushed past Malia, plunging back out into the heat, the noise of the party, Scott finally gave in and smiled. The next five minutes were going to be awkward and uncomfortable, and potentially worse if he happened to bump into Lydia again before he could slip away. But despite all that, he was feeling good. The night may have started poorly, may have had him wanting to run for the door and never look back, but things were looking up. All he had to do was get through the next few minutes and he was home free, exactly where he wanted to be.

* * *

After his time spent at the party, the interior of the diner Scott was sitting in felt like heaven. It was cool, and quiet, and calm, the complete opposite of everything his evening had been to that point. The place was almost empty, just a single other customer sitting on the far side of the room, drinking coffee and watching something on her phone. Across the booth from him, Malia was fighting with a nearly-empty ketchup bottle, and he was thoroughly enjoying watching her as he picked at his fries.

“You need some help with that?” he offered mildly, trying desperately not to laugh.

The dirty look she threw him had him throwing up his hands in surrender, unable to stop his grin from breaking through. “Shut up,” she growled, violently shaking the bottle, which stubbornly continued to refuse to give up its contents. “It’s not funny.”

Screwing up his face, he hummed. “It kind of is, though.”

“No. It’s _not_.” She smacked the bottom of the bottle with her palm, hard enough he was surprised it didn’t shatter. Instead, a glob of ketchup finally flew out, only to miss her plate completely and splatter all over the table instead. Before he could even open his mouth, she glared at him, almost daring him to say something, and he quickly bit his lip. “Do _not_ laugh at me. I will hurt you.”

“Ooh, so violent,” he teased, as he grabbed some napkins from his tray and started wiping up the mess. He heard a growl well up from her throat, and flashed her a grin, arching an eyebrow. “So that’s how this works then, huh? You’re allowed to make fun of me, but I can’t laugh at you?”

“ _Yes_.”

“That doesn’t seem fair.”

“Life’s not fair.” The words came out harsh, but he could see her lips twitching, and a second later, she broke, rolling her eyes as a sheepish smile slid across her face. “All right, I guess it’s kinda funny,” she said, setting the bottle down and shoving it away. “You can laugh.”

The mock cheer he let out then had her snorting and rolling her eyes again, and they shared a grin over their burgers. In that moment, he decided there was nowhere else he’d rather be than right there, with her, laughing about something stupid, and about to dig into a greasy burger the size of his head. A part of him couldn’t help but notice it was basically his idea of a perfect date, even as another, louder part was pointing out it wasn’t a date, couldn’t possibly be a date. Not while he was still keeping his crush to himself, not acting on it, not saying something. They were just two friends, hiding from another friend’s constant interfering, and eating terrible food. And he was okay with that. It was fun.

The fun continued for the next half hour, as they ate and joked and just generally had a good time. With just the two of them, there were no distractions, and he could have happily sat there all night. Unfortunately, it had to come to an end eventually.

Ever since they’d left the party, Scott had been ignoring his phone. It had buzzed a few times after they’d reached the diner, but he had no interest in checking it, fully aware the likely culprit was Lydia. He’d managed to avoid her on the way out, but he’d known it was only a matter of time until she realised he was gone. Since he was sure she wasn’t going to have anything positive to say about how he’d ducked out on her, on the party, on Sarah, it was just better to ignore her for now, let what had turned into a good night stay good.

Like him, Malia hadn’t checked her phone all night, probably for the same reason. She only finally pulled it out when he left to take their empty trays back to the counter. When he returned, slid back into the booth, he was a little disconcerted to find her scowling as she typed something out.

“What?” he asked cautiously, not entirely sure he wanted to know.

“Lydia,” she growled, turning her phone so he could see. “She’s messaged me, like, twenty times since we left. Look at this.” She scrolled through the wall of texts, shaking her head. “It’s ridiculous. She wants me to go back because there's a guy there she’s apparently _dying_ to introduce me to.”

“Should have seen that coming,” he replied, ignoring the glare she levelled at him. “What do you think is up with her lately? I mean, I know this is nothing new, but she’s really kicked it into high gear the last… I don’t know, maybe three weeks. There’s gotta be something going on with her, right?”

“I don’t know,” she grated out through clenched teeth as she sent another text, “but if she doesn’t stop soon, I’m going to do something about it.” She grumbled something under her breath he didn’t catch, then tossed her phone down and rolled her eyes. “You’re not off the hook, by the way. Guess she heard we left together. I’m supposed to bring you back with me.”

He huffed out an amused breath and shook his head. “Of course. She’s nothing if not consistent.”

“That’s one word for it. I—” She cut off abruptly when her phone went off again, the buzz ominously loud in the quiet diner. From where he was sitting, Scott didn’t even have to move to see it was Lydia’s face flashing on the screen. “Awesome. She’s moved past texting. Now she’s actually calling.”

“Uh-huh.” He eyed the vibrating phone with more trepidation on his face than was probably warranted. “You gonna answer?”

She snorted. “ _No_. She’s just gonna chew me out for lying to her, for leaving early, and for refusing to come back. You think I wanna hear that right now? Screw that.”

“You know she’s not gonna stop, right?” She grunted an acknowledgement as he lifted his hands and rubbed at his eyes with his palms. “Ugh. Y’know, it might just be because it’s getting late, but that whole fake Canadian girlfriend thing is seeming less and less ridiculous by the minute. Super model or not.” Dropping his hands, he flashed her a wry smile. “She could have a brother or a cousin if you want in. I—” His words died in this throat when instead of looking amused or exasperated, her expression turned contemplative, sudden light flaring to life behind her eyes. “What?”

“You’re right,” she said, her voice soft. “Maybe it’s not so ridiculous.”

His eyes opened wide. “ _What_? Yes, it is. Malia, I was _joking_.”

“No, no, shut up.” She waved off his protests, frowning. “I know you were joking. Obviously we can’t make up fake _people_ to date. That would be stupid. She’d see right through it.” The emphasis she put on ‘people’ had him sweating suddenly, shifting nervously in his seat, though he wasn’t sure why. “No, no fake people. But maybe…” She trailed off, and his mouth went dry at the look in her eyes when she locked gazes with him. “I have an idea.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. We have fun together, right?”

“Uh, yeah, sure.”

“Both of us are tired of Lydia’s meddling, right?”

He swallowed. “Uh huh.”

“Neither of us are interested in dating anyone right now, right?”

The irony in her being the one to ask him that was almost enough to make him laugh. Except he couldn’t, because it was rapidly dawning on him what she was about to suggest, and his brain had broken down as a result, grinding to a halt. He was a little surprised there wasn’t smoke coming out of his ears. It took every ounce of brain-power he had left just to get out any response at all.

“Right.”

The smile that slid across her face then almost defied description. It was one part humour, one part satisfaction, and one hundred percent a challenge. “Why don’t we help each other out then? We tell her we’re dating. That’ll get her off our backs.”

Every instinct in Scott’s body was screaming at him, yelling she was joking, she was trying to get one over on him. Because she couldn’t possibly be serious. Fake dating? That didn’t happen in real life. No, she had to be pulling his leg, was just waiting for him to probe any deeper, show any sign he believed her, and she was going to laugh in his face and call him a dumbass. That had to be it. Except he knew her, better than he knew almost anybody, better than he’d ever admit. He could read her, knew when she was teasing and when she was being completely serious. And everything he was seeing in her right now was telling him this was a real thing, a real suggestion. Real.

“Are you…” He paused, licked his lips, his heart racing. “Are you being serious right now?”

“Yeah. Listen.” Leaning in close, she lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper, despite the fact they were all alone, the only other customer already long gone. “It’ll be _easy_. We already hang out all the time. She knows we left the party together. We tell her we’re together, we have been for a little while, so she can stop with the set-ups and all that crap. We’ll be free. It’s perfect.”

“Okay,” he said slowly, drawing the word out, trying to give himself a little extra time to think. It wasn’t easy with her right there, eyes wide, staring right at him, willing him to agree with her. “You see the obvious flaw with this plan, right?”

Her eyes narrowed. “What flaw?”

Leaning back, he snorted. “ _What flaw_? Jesus, Malia. Lydia’s not an idiot. What do you think she’s gonna do two weeks from now when she realises she hasn’t seen us do, uh… any couple-type stuff? Like, none at all. She’s gonna know we’re lying, and God knows what she’ll do then. Probably scream at us. And she screams _really_ loud.”

As far as convincing arguments go, he thought it was a pretty good one. Lydia was too smart to fall for something like this, way too observant. There was no way they could pull this off. No way.

Except Malia apparently didn’t agree.

“Scott, come on.” Reaching across the table, she grasped his hand, and all he could do was pray his palms weren’t as sweaty as they felt to him. “You’re overthinking this. She’s got no reason to think we’re lying. She’s not gonna ask a bunch of questions. And,” she continued, dropping her voice even lower, “so what if she does? Maybe we have to spend a little more time together. Maybe we have to act a little affectionate in public. Maybe we hold hands at school.” She squeezed his hand and he swallowed heavily. “Who cares? That’s nothing. We can totally do this.”

He wanted to say yes. As ridiculous as it seemed, as poorly as it could go, he wanted to say yes. Mostly because she wanted it, and because any reason to spend more time with her was a good one in his book. Even though being that close to her and not actually being with her could very well end up being torture. Even though it ran the risk of making his already-complicated feelings get even more twisted up. But he wouldn’t, not without offering up at least one more protest, giving her one more chance to withdraw the whole plan, forget the whole thing.

“What if one of us meets somebody else?” he said, distantly aware of how shaky his voice sounded, hoping she didn’t notice.

“We’ll stop if that happens. This isn’t supposed to be forever. Just as long as we need it. It’s really simple, Scott. Do you want to do this?” She arched an eyebrow, her expression expectant as he hesitated. Just as he opened his mouth, not entirely sure what was going to come out, her phone abruptly starting buzzing again, drawing the attention of both of them. “That’s her again,” she said, pulling her hand from his to grab it. “This is it. We can tell her right now, make all her meddling go away.” Locking eyes with him, she held up her phone, thumb hovering over the screen, ready to accept or decline the call. “It’s up to you. Are you in or are you out?”

In or out? In or out? In or out?

The words echoed through his mind as he stared at her, jaw working soundlessly, gaping like a fish. As much as he wanted to say yes, he knew he should say no. It was so dumb. It would never work. It could blow up in their faces. It was a bad idea. He should say no.

Before he could say a word, he saw her mouth start to move, lips curving into a gratified smile. She could read him just like he could read her.

“I’m in.”


	2. 02

**02**

“You’re _what_?”

Scott wasn’t sure whether or not he should be offended by the absolute shock in Lydia’s voice. Her reaction was unquestionably funny, the news clearly catching her completely off-guard, in a way few things ever did. But a part of him couldn’t help but feel just a little indignant over her apparent disbelief. It wasn’t like the idea of him and Malia being together was so far-fetched. The complete opposite, really, from his perspective.

“We’re dating. Me and Scott.”

He was a more than a little impressed by just how at ease Malia seemed to be, how casually she said the words. Watching her, how she was lounging in the booth, he would have never guessed she was going ahead with a half-baked plan they’d only come up with and agreed to try less than five minutes ago. Had their positions been reversed, he knew there was no way he could have been so relaxed about it. Which was why he hadn’t said a word yet, despite her phone being on speaker. Instead, he was happy to let her handle it, while he did his best to appear as nonchalant as he could, to not let on just how tense he was as he waited with baited breath to see how their announcement was going to go over with their friend.

A protracted moment of silence followed then, and they shared a look as his fingers drummed lightly on the table, nervous energy peeking through. She flashed him a reassuring smile, which he tried to return, not entirely sure how successful the attempt was.

“Wait. Okay. Wait.” Lydia paused for a second. “You. And _Scott_? Since when? Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

It was at that moment it really dawned on him just how little thought they’d put into their plan, just jumping in head-first without any real forethought or planning. Because of course she was asking for details. Details they didn’t have, couldn’t have, because the whole thing was a lie, and they hadn’t even taken a second to consider coming up with any kind of story about how or why or when they’d gotten together. Which they really should have, because now he was left staring at the phone, eyes wide, absolutely sure in that moment that they were already about to blow the whole thing less than two minutes in.

Fortunately, whatever was allowing Malia to keep her head was still going strong.

“Because we were keeping it quiet. Everybody’s so damn nosy. You can’t do anything around here without somebody giving you the third degree. Y’know, like you’re doing now.” She shot him a wink, and he had to bite his lip to keep from laughing, either out of amusement or relief. He wasn’t sure which. “But you kinda forced our hand here.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, come on. Don’t be stupid.” If he hadn’t been looking right at her, couldn’t see the sparkle of amusement in her eyes or the sly smile on her face, he would have been certain she was legitimately annoyed, angry. She was apparently a much better actor than he’d ever given her credit for. “Do you think I like watching you try to set my boyfriend up with other women?”

He tried to ignore the little thrill he felt at her calling him her boyfriend, as silence fell once again. That was something he was going to have to work on. If they were really doing this, he had to get himself under control. He couldn’t have his heart fluttering every time she referenced any kind of romantic connection between them. Not only because he was pretty sure it was bad for his health, but also because it could only happen so many times before she picked up on it. With her senses, she was bound to catch on sooner or later, and he had zero idea how he could explain it away without completely outing himself.

“I’m sorry. I was only trying to help.”

“Yeah, well, you didn’t.”

“What about Scott? Is he pissed at me too?”

He opened his mouth to respond, but she quickly motioned for him to stay quiet. “I’ve got this,” she mouthed, as he put up his hands in surrender and nodded. “Yeah, he’s a little pissed. You think he liked getting blindsided by you? Especially after he told you to leave him alone. What did you expect?”

“Well, I’m happy for the two of you,” Lydia after a moment, somehow managing to sound apologetic and slightly offended at the same time. “But you really should have said something. I would have stopped. I—”

“Like you stopped when we both asked you to?” Malia asked, voice dry.

“I… all right, that’s fair. But if you—”

“You know what? Don’t worry about it. We forgive you.” Scott arched an eyebrow, a little surprised she was letting her off the hook so easily. He’d been expecting her to keep pressing, torturing her at least a little longer. Which he didn’t at all condone, of course, but would have found pretty funny after all the frustration she’d put them both through. “Listen, I’m gonna let you go, okay? We’ve kinda got plans for tonight.”

“Plans? To do what?”

“What do you think?” was her deadpan reply. “We’ll be in bed.” She paused for just the briefest of seconds, so quick he thought he may have imagined it. Along with the smirk that slid across her face. “Having sex. Don’t call again.”

Any potential response was lost then as she hung up and tossed her phone down on the table. Caught off-guard by how she’d chosen to end the call, his mind left sort of sputtering, he just sat there, staring at her, not quite sure what to say now. He couldn’t say he was surprised, couldn’t say he shouldn’t have expected some thing like that, knowing her, how aggressively blunt she was. But knowing that didn’t really soften the impact all that much. It was just one more thing he was going to have to get used to quick.

“Well,” he finally managed to get out, “that was, uh...”

“Pretty good, right?” she asked, grinning, after he trailed off, his brain still not fully engaged. “She totally bought it. I think we can officially say we’re in the clear. No more set ups.”

He nodded. “Yeah, I think that’s safe to say. Uh, you were… you were great.” Mirroring her grin, he gestured to the phone, slowly shaking his head. “I don’t know how you did that. I was…” He blew out a breath, his smile turning sheepish. “I probably would have been tripping over every word, not gonna lie. What?” he asked, catching her smirk. “Lydia’s notices stuff, all right? I would have started overthinking everything I was saying and fumbling everywhere. Honestly, I thought for sure she was going to see right through it.”

“Yeah, that’s why I hung up. It was only a matter of time until she started asking more questions. Better to cut her off early, keep her off her game, y’know?”

“Sure. Is, uh, is that why you told her we’d be in bed?”

Her grin widened. “No, no. That was just for you. You should have seen your face.” All he could do was shake his head and smile as her laughter filled the diner, failing miserably at concealing his own amusement, her mood contagious. “No, but seriously. She’s spent months trying to set us both up. The quickest way to shut her up is to make her think we’re finally getting some. And that’s it,” she continued, a wide smile splitting her face as she leaned back and spread her arms. “Lydia knows now. Which means everybody else is gonna know by tomorrow morning.” She raised both eyebrows. “We’re in it now.”

“Yeah, I guess we are.”

For better or worse, they were committed now. The lie had been told, the news was out there. It was only a matter of time until it spread, until Lydia got the word to the rest of their friends. Any lingering misgivings he may have had about the whole idea, they didn’t really matter anymore. It was time to bury them and figure out what they were doing going forward, what story they needed to concoct to make sure they had all their bases covered, that they wouldn’t get caught in a lie when the inevitable questions came their way.

Except Malia apparently had other plans.

“Hey, you want to get out of here? I feel like we should go out and do something.”

“Wait a minute,” he said, leaning forward and lowering his voice. “We should probably come up with a story first, right? How we got together and all that, just so we’re on the same page.”

She let out a noncommittal hum and shrugged. “Yeah, we could do that now. Or we could do it later, and go see a movie instead. There’s a new one that came out a couple weeks ago, and I’ve been dying to see it.”

He frowned. “You think that’s a good idea?”

“I think it’s a _great_ idea. The whole point of this was to buy us a little peace, right?” He nodded, “Well, we just scored a major win, and after that boring-ass party, we deserve to have a good time. All that other shit can wait.”

She still seemed just as nonchalant about everything as she had been on the phone, but his anxiety had him hesitating. “You really think so?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it.” She waved her hand dismissively. “We’ve got all night to figure that out. But we’ve only got half an hour until the last showing at the theater, so, y’know, priorities. Come on.” Extending her hand, she arched an eyebrow, lips curving into a playful smile. “I mean, if we’re gonna be _dating_ , I think we should probably go on a date. Then we won’t technically be lying when we say we’re going out, right?”

He couldn’t have kept the answering smile off his face then if he wanted to, even as he snorted and rolled his eyes.

“Pretty sure it doesn’t work like that, but sure, okay.” Taking her hand, he let her pull him out of the booth and to his feet. A part of him was still very aware they should take the time to iron out all the details before they did anything else, but it was really hard to say no to her when she seemed so obviously happy. And ultimately, she was right. With everybody busy at the party, they had time. Might as well make good use of it. “So, you’re paying for this, right?” he joked, as she led the way to the door, talking to try and distract himself from how good her hand felt in his. “’Cause I am broke.”

“Yeah, I’ve got it.” She shot him a teasing grin, amusement dancing in her eyes. “Don’t worry. Real or fake, I know how to treat my boyfriend right.”

And there went his heart again. He was really going to have to figure that out.

* * *

“Scott, I’m telling you, I could totally do it. It’d be _easy_. I bet you could do it too.”

Lips pursed, Scott slowly shook his head. “Nope. No way. It’s not physically possible. Trust me.”

Malia snorted and rolled her eyes. “Trust you? What are you, some kind of expert all of a sudden? Shut up.”

Turning in his seat, as much as his seatbelt would allow, he braced his arm against the dashboard and levelled his gaze at her. “Out of the two of us, which one has actually taken a physics class? Huh? Not you.” Throwing up his hands, he paused for a beat, waiting for a response, but she kept her gaze aimed out the windshield and stubbornly away from him. “There’s no way to pull that move off. No way. It’s just too many rotations. You couldn’t jump off hard enough to get them all in. You’d either faceplant and knock yourself out, or have to bail out halfway through and end up looking like an idiot.”

“All right, smart guy. How’d they do it in the movie then?”

“What? With _wires_. Are you kidding me?” Settling back into his seat, he slapped the dashboard. “There’s no way. It’s not happening. Not a chance.”

She blew a raspberry, and lifted a hand off the steering wheel to wave it dismissively. “Whatever. I think you’re seriously underestimating how strong we are. I’m ninety-five percent sure I could do it from a standing start. A little run up, and it’s not even a question. Actually, I think I already did it once. Nailed it, first try. It was easy.”

It was his turn to snort, cocking an eyebrow as he looked over at her. “You are so full of shit.”

“You want me to pull over right here and show you? Because I will.”

It was a good thing they were already stopped at a red light, because she paired her words with a hard glare, their eyes locked in a staring contest, neither moving an inch as they waited for the other to blink first. Which ended in a draw, as after a prolonged moment, he spotted the corners of her lips starting to twitch, the hint of a smile starting to form, and felt his own resolve begin to slip. A second later, they both cracked up, their laughter filling the car as they finally gave in to the ridiculousness of their argument.

“Okay,” he said through his chuckles as she returned her attention to the road and started forward again. “I give in. You win. You could definitely pull off that move. That stupid, impossible move.”

She flashed him a grin. “It was pretty stupid, wasn’t it?”

“Just a little.”

“Good movie, though.”

“Yeah, it was decent.”

That was about the most he could say for it, because only a portion of his attention had actually been on the screen. Instead, he’d been more focused on her, watching her watch the movie, her reactions, how she laughed at the over-the-top violence and action, and just really seemed to be enjoying herself. He liked seeing her like that, liked watching all the little changes in her expression while she was so thoroughly engaged with something she liked. It wouldn’t have mattered if it was the greatest movie ever. He’d been doomed from the start to only get bits and pieces of it. She was just much more interesting to him. 

“We should do this again soon.”

His brow furrowed. “What? Go see another movie?”

“Yeah,” she said, looking at him out of the corner of her eye. “I had a good time tonight. I mean, with you, hanging out, getting dinner. The party sucked ass, but this was fun, right? Almost felt like a real date.”

“Definitely,” he replied, nodding, trying not to show exactly how happy her words made him. Putting everything else aside, between their earlier stop at the diner, and their time at the theater, it was easily one of the better nights he’d had in months. Lately, hanging out for him had meant watching a movie at home, maybe ordering a pizza, because he was usually busy with school or work or lacrosse. Which he was fine with, happy with. But sometimes, a night out was a nice, especially with her, and he wasn’t about to pass up an invitation to more. “I’d be up for more. Uh, movies, I mean. Or dinner, or whatever. That sounds… it sounds great.”

“Cool.” She favoured him with a wide smile, and his heart thumped in his chest.

As the two of them descended into silence then, Scott figured it was as good a time as any to turn his phone back on, in need of a distraction. He’d turned it off on the way into the theater, and it hadn’t left his pocket since, so chances were good he had a text or two to check.

Sure enough, there was one waiting for him.

— _dude! you and malia? how’d that happen?_

He rolled his eyes as he read the words, not sure if he should be more exasperated or amused. It was far from unexpected, even though he’d been hoping to at least make it through the night before any of his friends reached out. Instead, it hadn’t even taken the length of the movie, the text dated for just over an hour ago. Which meant Lydia hadn’t wasted any time. A part of him was almost impressed by how quickly they could start poking their noses into his business. Almost.

“That better not be Lydia again,” Malia said, looking over at him through narrowed eyes. “I warned her to leave us alone.”

He snorted. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure she got that message.”

“Yeah…” She smirked and winked at him, and he couldn’t help but chuckle. “So, it’s not her, then?”

“No, it’s Stiles.” He tilted his phone so she could see the screen. “Guess she just couldn’t bite her tongue.” Reading the text again, he pursed his lips and sighed. “We really do need to figure out our backstory soon. We’re going to have to tell them something if we want any kind of peace and quiet.”

“I mean, we could always just tell them to mind their own damn business.”

“Right,” he said, voice dry. “I’m sure that’d go over well. No, we need to come up with a story. If we tell them nothing, it’ll just make them suspicious. But if we tell them something that makes sense, they probably won’t try to dig any deeper.” He hoped that was the case, anyway. The situation was going to be hard enough to keep up on his end as it was, with what he was feeling. The last thing he needed was any kind of sustained outside pressure, poking and prodding and pushing him into making mistakes, slipping up. “We keep it as simple as possible, super easy to remember, nothing we can accidentally screw up. It’s the only way.”

“All right, I’m with you.” She drummed her fingers over the steering wheel, pursed her lips. “Okay, wait. First things first. We can’t do this half-way.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, we can’t just put on a show just for our friends. It’s gotta be for everybody. School. Work. _Parents_. They all need to see it and believe it, okay? For all intents and purposes, we’re going to be in a real relationship. We’ll be the only two who know it’s fake. It’s the only way to really make it work.”

He was nodding even before she fell silent. “Agreed.” It was the only thing that made sense. They couldn’t be half-in, half-out and expect things to go well.

“Good. Now, the details. Um… how about this? We got together on New Year’s Eve. They already know we were both MIA that night. We tell them we were together, one thing led to another, and we decided to make a go of it.” Looking over at him, she arched an eyebrow. “What do you think?”

“Uh, yeah, that works for me.” A part of him wanted to point out that they actually had spent New Year’s Eve together, bailing on a planned get-together with the rest of the pack to watch the countdown in her living room instead, but that didn’t seem particularly productive at the moment. Or how he’d been so sorely tempted to kiss her when the clock struck midnight, which, in his dreams would have definitely ended in one thing leading to another. Again, not productive. Better left unsaid. “So, we’ve been together three weeks then, give or take?”

“Uh-huh.”

“And we didn’t tell anybody, because we wanted to avoid any questions or hassle?”

“Exactly. Just like I told Lydia.” She grinned at him, showing more teeth than was necessary. “See, I like that one, because it works on two levels. It’s a good reason, and it also guilts them into shutting up. Double whammy.”

“Smart.”

“ _Right_? Anyway, what else?”

“I—” He paused, face screwing up as he tried to think of what else they needed to figure out. “I don’t know. I guess… that can’t be it, can it?” She shrugged, and he huffed out a breath. “Huh. I really thought there’d be more to it that that.”

“I told you not to worry about it.”

“Yeah, I guess you were right.” Even as he said the words, he was running through a list of potential questions in his mind, working through them rapid-fire, separating them into different categories as he went. Questions that were likely to be asked, ones that would need at least a semi-believable answer, ones that they could laugh off or straight-up refuse to respond to. There were a ton, but most were falling into the latter category. When it came right down to it, as long as they agreed on how it started, anything else was private, and nosy or not, everybody should respect that. Hopefully. “Okay, I guess that’s it for that, then.” He paused. “Actually, uh, I’ve got a question for you.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.” He hesitated for a second. “Uh, how far do y—I mean, what are you comfortable with…” He trailed off, cringing internally at his own halting words, not quite sure of the right way to phrase his question, a question that hadn’t strayed far from his mind all night. Which she wasn’t making any easier on him, the amused gleam in her eye telling him she was fully aware of what he was getting at, was enjoying watching him struggle to get it out. “Should we set some ground rules before we go any further?”

“Ground rules?” Her tone was entirely too innocent. “For what?”

For a second, he was frozen, staring at her. “How far are we gonna take this?” he finally managed to get out. “I mean, how are we gonna act in front of people? ‘Cause we’re gonna have to do some stuff, and I just… I want to make sure we’re both okay with—are you laughing at me?”

She was, shaking in her seat as he stumbled over his words, and it took her a minute to respond. “Yeah, I’m laughing at you. Scott, you need to relax. It’s all good.”

“Yeah, but what if we have to kiss or—”

“No, stop, stop,” she said, reaching over the center console to grasp his wrist. “Listen, everybody’s seen how both of us act in relationships before. Just go with that. When we’re with other people, just treat me like you’d treat any girl you were dating. If you cross any lines, I’ll let you know, I promise. And I’ll treat you just like you’re actually my boyfriend.” There was something in her voice, an undercurrent in her tone that had him shifting in his seat, suddenly, irrationally nervous. “We both know what we’re signing up for here. We both know why we’re doing it. We trust each other. And we need to make it look real. So, just relax and don’t overthink it. Okay?”

“Okay.” The smile he shot her was a little strained, but he nodded, letting her words ease a little of his worry. Not all of it, because he still wasn’t clear on exactly what he was supposed to do. But she seemed completely at-ease about the whole situation, and he was willing to follow her lead, go with the flow. For now, at least.

Focused on the conversation, Scott hadn’t been paying attention to where they were, so when the car came to a stop, and it took him a second to realise they’d reached his house. Peering through the windshield, he saw his mom’s car parked in the driveway in front of them. Which wasn’t a shock. She’d worked the day shift, so she would have made it home not longer after he left for the party. But the light shining out through the kitchen window meant she must still be up, which was a bit of a surprise. She usually crashed as soon as she got home from work.

“So,” he said, as he reached to undo his seat-belt, “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?” He was reluctant to let the night end already, but he couldn’t think of any subtle reasons to try to extend it. “I’m sure we’ll both be getting visitors at some point. Might be better if we face them together.”

She snorted. “Yeah, probably. We could get breakfast, if you want, go from there?”

“Yeah!” He winced the second the word left his mouth, way too much excitement in it, and prayed she couldn’t see the flush warming his cheeks. “I mean, yeah,” he continued, with as much forced nonchalance as he could muster, “that works for me. Uh…” Sudden movement in the corner of his eye had him trailing off, and he turned to see his mom standing in the kitchen, peering out the window at them. “My mom’s watching us,” he said sheepishly as he raised a hand and waved to her, a gesture she returned.

“I see that.”

The silence that fell in the car then wasn’t exactly awkward, but neither was it comfortable. Scott wasn’t sure what to say, what to do. He wanted to crack a joke, say something funny, witty, draw a smile before he took his leave. A fitting end to a pretty great night. But there was just nothing there.

“All right,” he finally said, giving up. It just wasn’t meant to be. “See you tomorrow.”

He reached for the door handle, but before he could open it, she stopped him, reaching over to grab his hand.

“Wait a second.” Looking back, he found her studying him closely, her expression more serious than at any other point all night. “Look, it’s pretty clear you’re not totally comfortable with this. And that’s fine. But if you’re not sure about doing it, I want you to tell me now. It’s not too late to back out. We can tell Lydia it was a joke, pretend it never happened.” Her voice was low, intense, her eyes locked on his, and he went completely still, unable to look away, to blink. “If you don’t think you can do this, if you don’t _want_ to do this, tell me now. Because it’s full speed ahead for me from here, okay? We haven’t done anything yet, so if you want out, now’s the time to say it.”

“No.” The word was out of his mouth almost before she finished talking, shaking his head, a blatant denial. He appreciated her giving him an out, but he didn’t need it. He may have some worries, some anxiety about how he was going to pull everything off, how it was going to go, but he wasn’t going to back out. “Thanks for asking, but I’m fully on-board with this.”

“You sure?”

He flashed her a wide smile, gratified to see what looked like relief on her face, in her eyes. “I said I was in, and I’m in. No going back now.” Lifting a hand, he gestured straight out the windshield. “Full speed ahead.”

“Good.” She mirrored his grin, squeezed his hand. “Great. Is your mom still watching us?”

“Uh…” Caught off-guard by the apparent non-sequitur, he hesitated for a second, before his eyes moved back to the window, where his mom’s silhouette was still visible. “Yeah, she is. Why?”

Her smile took on a playful tilt. “Might as well start the show.”

To say he was surprised when she leaned across the center console and pressed her lips to his would be an understatement. It was just about the last thing he was expecting. Which, in retrospect, and knowing her like he did, may have been foolish on his part. As far as the kiss went, it wasn’t much, not exactly a peck, but not much more. Just enough to look like a legitimate parting kiss between two people in a relationship.

Just enough to make him want more. So much more.

When she pulled away, there was a moment where they just looked at each other, neither moving, neither speaking. Scott wasn’t sure he could have spoken if he wanted to, his brain stuck on the little taste, little hint of her she’d just gifted him.

“Full speed ahead,” she finally said, a breathless whisper. “No going back now. I hope you’re ready.”

He had to swallow around the lump that had formed in his throat. “I guess we’ll find out.” His voice was rough, hoarser than he would have liked, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He couldn’t bring himself to care about anything, up to and including the questions that were sure to greet him the second he stepped into his house. Not now, not after that. That kiss was going to be the only thing he thought about until he managed to pass out. “Good night, Malia.”

“Good night, Scott.”

Climbing out of the car, he stood there in the driveway and watched as she backed up and drove off. As the red glow of the taillights faded into the night, he couldn’t help but wonder exactly what he’d gotten himself into. If tonight was any indication, it was going to be a lot, maybe more than he could handle. He knew she was going to push him in a lot of ways, probably even some he hadn’t even thought of yet. Was he ready for that? He wasn’t sure, wouldn’t know, couldn’t know at this point.

All he knew right now was he needed a good night’s rest, and a shower. A very cold one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mostly set-up with this chapter, so we can get to the really good stuff in the next one. Sorry for the wait, got caught up with an older project, but that's done now, so I'm hoping to get the next chapter out much quicker next time. Hope you enjoyed this one!


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